Tears soup

Pain by its nature should be something that can be described as a hurt. Something that you can take a pill for. Not this pain, this numbness. It's a pain that has no pain but hurts none the less. You can't describe the emptiness, the loneliness. Unfortunately it has to be experienced to get the full effect. It's a sneaky kind of pain popping up when you least expect it. A song, a picture, a word, a scent are all things that can make it surface. I likened it to a computer file transfer, memories filling up the hole in my heart. Unfortunately I have more than 40 years of memories to relive, to fill this hole. I am going to be hurting for a long time.